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Before giving my life to Christ & getting married. I lived a reckless life. During this time in my life, I found myself in and out of a very toxic relationship. There was a lot of verbal/emotional abuse, cheating, lying and the list goes on. My ex sold prescription pills so that was my introduction to using pills to get high.

After months of being in this relationship, I felt a nudge that I needed to break it off. I understand now that the nudge was God.

God was trying to protect and save me even though I didn’t have a relationship with him at that time. (God is faithful like that)

I knew I needed to get out of this situation but it was hard. I was addicted to the dysfunction!


One night I caught my ex with another female and I was devastated and heartbroken. The night I caught him is the night I hit rock bottom. I remember driving home after seeing them and crying my eyes out. Asking God for help. I was done living the way I was living. I wanted out of that life. I was mentally and physically exhausted.

I went back to my grandmother's house sat on the floor in the den and cried out to God. I remember saying “There has to be more to life than this”! Because The truth is, I was in a low place before this relationship. I was already an alcoholic and a party girl. For years I had been running from my pain. But this time I was surrendering all I knew in hopes that God had something better for me. That was the night I gave my life to Christ.

I learned how the enemy (satan) is so strategic and so calculated. He can see when you’re in a vulnerable/low place and he will sometimes send counterfeit relationships. Something that feels good but isn't good for you.

And when the counterfeit shows up, if you don’t have a relationship with Christ, you won’t be able to identify that the person or situation Is not God's best for you.

I left that relationship but this time I was determined I wasn’t going back. In the beginning, it was hard. I felt lonely and sometimes still found myself tempted to answer his calls but I knew I wanted better for myself.

Obedience to God is not always easy. Sometimes he calls us to leave the things we love the most or the place we’ve been the most comfortable. He starts calling us closer to him but that will require letting go & having faith that GOD will take care of you.



So about 6 years went by and  I was growing in my relationship with Christ, I got married and my family and I relocated to a different state.

One day I was scrolling on Facebook and I saw a picture of my ex pop up on my timeline. As I started reading the caption, the caption read “Rest in peace.” I was shocked to find out he had passed away from a drug overdose. 

 I couldn’t believe what I was reading. There was pain and sadness for his son, and then weirdly enough, there was Gratitude. There was thankfulness to God because, at that moment, God was showing me what could’ve happened to me if I would’ve stayed in that relationship.

 Being obedient to the nudge, literally saved my life. I beg of you to take it seriously when you feel like God is leading you in any area of your life. You may not see it in the moment but a blessing is attached to you obeying God.

God sees our beginning and our end. And yes it may hurt, it may be uncomfortable but God knows what’s best you.

See, while I was living so recklessly I would’ve never thought that six or seven years down the line my ex would have passed away from an overdose but God saw where our relationship was headed and he had a different plan for my life.

 I just want to encourage you that if God is calling you, if you felt the nudge to leave a place or leave a relationship, friendship, etc be obedient because God may be trying to protect you from something you can't see coming or prepare you for something greater but to get greater you may need to surrender some old things.

Evaluate your life and ask God to show you the areas where you’ve been disobedient. Repent and be obedient to the nudge.



Walk in obedience to all that the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live and prosper and prolong your days in the land that you will possess.


Blessed are all who fear the Lord, who walk in obedience to him.



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